Escape

There was a steady hum in his head. Garbled thoughts and jumbled words jostled for space; slowly but steadily straining against his skull. Pushing, thrusting and heaving until the dull throbbing ache intensified and threatened to make his head explode. His brain fought back valiantly, trying to bring order to chaos; trying to weave the thoughts and the words together in various logical permutations and combinations. But the only form they coerced into was that of blind panic.

He felt the need to escape from it all, to run away. The clanging in his head seemed to be reaching a crescendo. There was a sense of urgency. So he did the only thing he knew - He ran. Away. His feet hit the gravel and he felt the reassuring crunch. As if on cue, his body surged forward cutting through the wind, slicing through the pain. He felt the salty sea breeze lick his face and let the sound of the ocean wash over his ears. The clamour in his head seemed to momentarily pause, unsure as to how to respond to the distraction.

Enthused, he picked up pace and ran frenetically. His limbs strained against the gravel track, his breath came in gasps and his heart pounded in his chest. As the pounding grew louder, the uproar in his head was steadily drowned out. His skin burned under the surface and the salty sea breeze stung his eyes but he didn't stop running. He couldn't stop. Every cell in his limbs hurt; slowly but steadily straining against his skin. Pushing, thrusting and heaving until the sharp stinging pain intensified and threatened to bring him to his knees. But this pain, he could deal with. He welcomed it. For when his body became taut, his mind would become numb. Until then, he had to keep running. Away.

Null & Void

She was walking around with that huge gaping hole in her heart for over a week now. It felt as if someone had taken a giant bazooka and shot an iron cannon ball right through her chest. It was surprising how such emptiness could weigh so much. For though she felt like a large part of her was actually missing, the void in itself seemed to have an interminable weight which sapped her strength, bore her down, buckled her knees and pinned her to the ground; so much so, that the ground beneath her feet and the world around her collapsed under the weight of her emptiness.

Oh, she had cried. She had cried until the tears poured out, in the vain hope that they would flood her heart, fill the white void and seal the emptiness. And the tears had obediently arrived at her behest, like an all too eager vulture waiting to swoop down on a dying animal and end the ordeal. But they did nothing to kill the pain or heal the wound. Eventually, she told herself that she had to stop crying. But the tears still streamed out in silent batches; stealthily creeping down at the slightest hint of a trigger – a song here, a sign there. They now seemed to have a will of their own and she watched on haplessly as they took over her life.

A funny thing then started happening. She began to notice this other void emerging in the recess of her mind. The tears now seemed to be leaving a new void in their wake. Her suspicion was confirmed when she felt an emptiness take shape in her head - as if reason had deserted its abode, leaving in its place a huge black emptiness.  But in a strange way the numbness in her mind or the Null as she referred to it as, now complemented the Void in her heart.  For when the mind ceased to register the songs, the signs and the memories, the heart knew not what to languish for.

And she woke up one morning, on another grey October to find that the wellspring of tears had now run dry. But the path that they had traced between Null & Void was etched deep in her soul. And in a weird way, as the black Null embraced the white Void, she felt a strange grey wisp of peace settle round her.